Relationships — 01 December 2011
Bad Break Up – When You’ve Squandered a Good Relationship

By Glenn Avery.

It happens more often than you think.  Someone panics and leaves someone who truly cares for them.  Emotions are funny like that.  Relationship decisions made out of haste.  Sometimes these decisions are the product of unresolved conflicts.  Other times these departures stem from outside influences, or lust.

Influences like:  jealous friends urging you to leave; charming offers from opportunists who say all the right things; pressure from family members who appear to have your best interest at heart.  Embattled, you succumb to these influences.  Most conformists do.   Moral fiber is in short supply these days.

But in your heart you knew they loved you.  Still, you left anyway.  Better opportunities await, you say to yourself.  So you step.  On to the dating field you go, eager for a new start.

You meet new candidate number one.  Damn.  That was rough.  After the thrill, you find they weren’t as awesome as you thought they’d be.  You write it off as a flute.  Not all others will be like that, you say.  Months go by and much of the same.  Reality sets in.  Plan B doesn’t appear to have been such a good plan at all.  Dating is hard and the competition is thick.  The girls are much younger than you, bodies firmer.  The guys are more eager and aggressive.  Plus, you had forgotten all about those lonely nights; that cold bed, how it was before you met your ex.

You miss that umbrella of love you were once covered in.  Their touch.  Their voice.  Their warmth. But they’re gone.  You left.  Now pride won’t let you return.  Pride only has one friend – Loneliness.  And only has one adjective – Foolish.

I know this story too well.  And I know how it ends.

It is upon the offender to recover the offended.

My advice?  If you miss them, call them.  If they still love you, they’ll welcome you back.  If they don’t, consider it a lesson.  It was a bridge that you burned.  Contrived explanations will only harden their heart.  So, let these be your first words: I’m Sorry.

And going forth, remember:  Home is not out in the streets. Home is where love is.  Real love.  The kind of love that loves you back.

(Excerpt from forthcoming book by Glenn Avery.  Email: to join mailing list.)

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